30 Things #8: 5 Passions

(This picture has nothing to do with this post... I just needed a picture to try to get you to read this...)

#8 What are five passions you have and why?

pas·sion

[ pásh'n ] (noun) intense enthusiasm: a strong liking or enthusiasm for a subject or activity

1. Creating
2. Spending time with friends
3. Supporting my family
4. Learning to relax... and be imperfect
5. Being accepting of myself and others

Yes... I looked up the word. I needed some inspiration. I feel like teaching should be somewhere in that top five... but teaching isn't my LIFE so I think it's okay that I have other priorities.

I have completed 9 of the 10 courses required for my Master's Degree. I will be finished October 14th. 16 months. Boy was it and is it a ride.

I have spent 3 or 4 hours a day, three days a week at school moving into my new classroom and setting it up. I laugh every time someone comes in because I set up the new classroom EXACTLY like my old room minus the padded time out room that had taken away two sets of closets. Otherwise I pretty much put everything in the exact same spot down to the magnets on the chalkboard. I have one bulletin board and a random array of things spread out across the back row of desks to find homes for, as well as a large stack of outdated materials that need to be donated on the back table. Then I will be finished. HOORAY!

I also hope to move the health and science teacher editions from the metal rolling cabinet to one of the closets... As the only special education resource teacher in the school I house a set of ALL of the teacher's editions for ALL of the subject areas for ALL of the grade levels. It currently takes up several closets.

My goal is to wrap things up and share pics of my classroom with you guys :). I sorta love my classroom set up since arriving at this new school.

Alright, off to bed now. Much love.

Craftaholics Anonymous Summer 2012: Handmade Gift Exchange

Hello! This is what I made for my partner in the secret handmade gift exchange hosted by Linda @ Craftaholics Anonymous.

My partner said she liked owls and the colors navy, yellow, and gray for her house. She also told me that they were big into decorating for the holidays. This is what I came up with:

I hand sewed and pieced him together from start to finish with my own design.

The clothespins hold the little seasonal banners... they are felt pieces glued to twine. I hand created the felt pieces for everything but Christmas and Valentines. Fall is orange triangles that I painted with acrylic paint.

These are the doggy craft inspectors... and a little owl waiting for me to finish his banners!

What do you think? I haven't had any luck hearing from my partner yet so I'm really hoping she liked them!

30 Things: #7 Dream Job

#7 What is your dream job and why?

Well, I don't really have one dream job. One of my dream jobs was to be a teacher! I wanted to be an elementary teacher or a gifted and talented teacher. Well, elementary teacher didn't happen because there was no shortage of candidates and gifted and talented required a masters- so I got in with special education. I love my kids and the teachers I work with and the majority of days of my job. Sometimes I feel stressed or overwhelmed, but I absolutely love this job. I wanted to be a teacher because my first grade teacher and fifth grade teachers changed my life. They were a safe place and support for me. They believed in me and showed me that I could do things and gave me praise when I was missing it at home. I wanted to do the same and I knew that I could relate to the lives of the children I would get.

Source: heygirlteacher.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

My other dream job was to be an artist because I love to draw. Or to be an author because I used to write novels and short stories starting in third grade. I have notebooks I filled with handwritten stories. There are a large sum of poems that I have written as well. I love writing and drawing. My real DREAM job that probably won't ever happen is to own my own little shop/boutique like place to sell things I create. Poems, books, art, things like what I have in my etsy shop. I don't have the slightest idea how to go about starting there and I really like stability which I feel like I have with my Special Education position.

Source: heygirlteacher.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

This will be my 8th year teaching and supporting students with special needs in the elementary setting. Sometimes I really want to have my own class. I want to teach my own lessons and have my own group of kiddos all day. Right now I go into classrooms and pull my kiddos aside for small reading groups, or sometimes pull them to my room to teach them math in a smaller group and with different strategies. Other times for writing or those students who are not that far behind, I just go in the classroom and float around to them to help them out and check in with how they are doing. I think about my future and one day transferring to a gifted and talented classroom, but honestly I don't know if I can or will. In my eighth year I have sadly been around in the district for longer than the majority of the other special education teachers. I know that others do not do everything down to the detail as I do and I worry that someone else wouldn't work as hard for my kiddos or develop the relationship with them and their families that I have. I can't leave these guys or their parents and at this point, with covering the entire school I will have them year after year and our relationships will never end! So... I have a lot of ideas, but I think I've really snatched up my dream job already. :)

Source: thegirlwhoworeyellow.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

Check out this site for more "Hey Girl- Teacher" edition eye candy:

http://heygirlteacher.tumblr.com/

30 Things: #6 Hardest Thing

#6 What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

The hardest thing I have ever experienced was when my mom had her heart attack. It was hard to think of losing her and even harder to watch her and my other family members break down. No matter how old you are, you always need your mom or a parent to turn to. It was scary to find out what was happening and then know that she needed a double bypass. The way someone looks after that isn't something you can prepare for. She was all swelled up and had tons of machines connected to her and into her and creepy noises and gurgling. She was covered with big ice pack things and blankets and it was just scary. I'm not good at losing people or going through changes. This was not something I was ready for and it knocked me for a loop for a long while. I'm thankful to say my mom gave up smoking after doing so most of her life and is doing great now three or four years later.

Source: life-love-laughter.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

30 Things: #5 Happy Things

5. List five things that make you happy right now.

1) my pups and kitties, even if the pups won't shut the *@!% up!

2) my school family/friends, both those of the past and present

3) the almost finished dishes... i let them pile up for WAY too long

4) having a new outfit picked out for the first day of school, even though I'm a teacher

5) the memories of my dear friend who passed away this week and remembering her smile, she fought lung cancer for almost three years and just lost her battle... she had a beautiful smile and laugh, it makes me sad to lose her, but I'm happy to have known her, to have memories, and to know she is out of pain.

Source: poster-street.com via Amy on Pinterest

30 Things: #4 Dear 16 Year Old Me

#4- List 10 things you would tell your sixteen year old self if you could

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com via Amy on Pinterest

Dear 16 year old me,

#1 That boy you've had a crush on since 8th grade... it's not going to happen. You become really great friends and he genuinely cares about you, but he knows you deserve better. In about ten years you will tell him about the huge crush you had on him only to find out he's living about six doors down in the same apartment complex. Don't worry- you won't run into each other and he keeps randomly checking in on you via messenger every few weeks to chat a little.

#2 You will get a boyfriend eventually... after high school. He's going to sweep you off of your feet and be everything dreams were made of, for a little while. You will go through a lot of hardships and he's going to hurt you and you don't deserve it. You did nothing wrong and he lost something amazing in you.

#3 Don't worry about how you will pay for college or if you can even go. You've got this covered Miss Smarty Pants.

#4 LOL The guy you have a crush on at work... that is super hot... that's not going to happen either. Enjoy the eye candy though.

#5 That girl you are besties with right now... she's going to use you until you get pushed too far. Don't worry though, other friends come along. They won't be around for long after high school, but girly they are going to change your life forever and be so worth it.

#6 The Easter Egg Hunts with the Lockharts and Margie, treasure those forever. And don't sweat over the fact that you only get to see Sarah once a year, you guys are still going to be H.A.B.s when you grow up. In fact she gets you back into crafting and doing what you love and you guys see each other pretty regularly.

#7 Your brother is going to grow up. You won't kill each other. Seriously. He turns in to a pretty good guy and helps you out a lot. Just give him time.

#8 Keep writing! Those stories and poems are amazing and when you get older you will be fascinated at how great of an author you were. They don't come as easily anymore!

#9 Take more pictures! You have so many amazing memories you need to capture! AND your Senior year is really going to rock.

#10 Don't listen to that crazy nurse when she tells you you aren't doing good enough with changing your eating habits and lifestyle. She's going to get let go of in a few years anyway without warning because of her craziness. You are rocking it girl and it will be so much easier later if you stick to it now!

16 year old me, you are living the best years of your life. Treasure every second!

Sincerely,

29 year old me :)

30 Things: #3 Relationship with your parents

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

Source: Uploaded by user via Amy on Pinterest

Well, my father is an alcoholic and a pothead. I hadn't spoken to him since I was 15 until my mother had a heart attack four years ago. My parents divorced when I was 15. We lived in the same yard as my dad's mom which is where he moved after the divorce was final. I cut him out of my life along with the rest of his family. All my father ever did was yell and cuss at me, belittle me, and abuse us emotionally and mentally. I remember the smell of alcohol on his breath and the cloud of smoke from the pot. I think it takes more than blood to make a family. Many people disagree with my choice to cut him and his family from my life. I feel that I have to do what is best for me and I spent 15 years praying to God to please give me a way out of the life I was living. I prayed for an end to the crying until I hyperventilated, the feeling of worthlessness, and the fear. I have no regrets about this choice.

Source: couragehopestrength.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

My mother and I have a complicated relationship as well. She spent so much time being silent and standing on the side lines when things happened as we grew up. When my brother became violent towards me she said that I deserved it. She blamed me for all of the things that went wrong and for anything that made my brother mad. When I was 22 she kicked me out of the apartment we were living in together because I wouldn't pay half of all of the bills. In all honesty I probably couldn't have afforded it and since I was only in the one bedroom and never home I didn't feel like it was fair. She told me I had wasted four years going to college to be a teacher because I couldn't get a job anywhere. It was hard. Our relationship got better once I was on my own, but then I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. She supported me and did a lot, but other hardships have come out way. My mom has gotten back with my "father". They aren't married, but she spends every Sunday and Monday with him. It upsets my brother and I because she says she only got the divorce for us and other comments she makes make us feel like she thinks she would have been happy without us. By her going back to my "father" it feels and seems as though she is saying that everything he did to us is okay. He hasn't changed. He still does all of the things he did then. I ask my mom to do things with me and she acts like they are a hassle or complains that she doesn't want to and then will turn around and do the same things with him and go on and on about how great it is. It feels like I can't depend on her. It's hard to feel that way. I am incredibly grateful to my mom for keeping a roof over my head and raising me and everything else she has done.

Source: tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

I really don't have anything else to say here. I'm having a bad week and it's really gotten to me. Sometimes life overwhelms.

Source: inspirationalrecovery.tumblr.com via Amy on Pinterest

Thoughts, prayers, and love to all of you.

30 Things: #2 Fears

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

I'm sorta scared of dogs. I used to be scared of ALL dogs because I got bit in the face by one and it ripped a hole in my lip and I had to have emergency reconstructive surgery by a plastic surgeon to fix it... and now I just have a little white line... but I'm not really scared of ALL dogs anymore... My first dog was a Pomeranian/Sheltie mix.. Buddy, you can see his pic in the bottom right side :). Once when I was living in my first apartment I let him out to potty. A pitbull (I didn't know what kind of dog it was at the time) came up and started sniffing him. In a split second that pitbull latched on to my dog and was dragging him away from me with his head in his jaws. My dog was growling and flipping out and doing everything to try to break away. The collar came off of him and the dog wouldn't let Buddy go. I was standing there screaming for help and no one was coming for what seemed like an eternity. Finally some guy stopped his car and came running over and was hitting the dog over the head but it wouldn't stop. I finally remembered the guy next to me was a cop so I went running to his door screaming and he came out and maced the other dog to get it off of mine. It took the whole can to get it to let go. My dog ran for our door and the neighbor called in and he and some other officers tracked down the dog and it's owner who ended up having a warrant for his arrest... obviously pet ownership is a responsibility that reflects on one's pet. My dog ended up fine. He had some puncture wounds, but nothing needed stitches. I felt so bad for him. All he w

anted to do was curl up behind me. So, that kinda brought back the fear. I currently have my brother's pitbull living in my spare bedroom though as he is going through some hard times. This dog cracks me up. He is so sweet and goofy and well behaved. I'm still nervous somewhat because he is a bigger dog compared to Pomeranians (HA!), but he's so sweet. I still won't take my dogs on walks because of the occurrence with Buddy so thank goodness we have a big backyard.

Second fear, failure. I'm afraid to fail or not be perfect. I'm afraid of letting others down or upsetting them. I don't like not being everything for everyone. I know it's unrealistic and no one is perfect, but it's something I always strive for. My house is a wreck and it drives me crazy. I don't want some people to come in because I'm so self conscious about everything that is out of place. Every dirty dish, every furball tumble weed, litter boxes with poopies in them, and let's be realistic- Macey and I are still fighting to get her house broken so there are some potty accidents here and there. I trace this back to my childhood and the fact that my parents never seemed proud of anything I did. My father is an alcoholic so he never really counted in my life for anything that mattered. My mother always talked about how borrowing my report cards and parent teacher conferences were because I got straight A's and everyone loved me. She almost didn't make it to the Honors reception where I got my letter jacket for academics because her boss asked her to work and she didn't get why I was so upset. My graduation (high school and college) have very few pictures from the ceremony and I drove myself home alone and didn't have anyone standing around to take pics of me or my friends afterward. I look back and see all the pictures my friends had and it makes me sad. Every single flaw in my house or housekeeping or yard or life or an outfit drive me crazy. The OCD is manageable while on medication, but it's still something I have to talk myself through. I also guilt myself over the fact that some people can clean their entire houses or move and unpack a whole house in one day... I've had six weeks of summer break and I haven't touched any of it. Given my garage is full and I've tried to spend time with friends and do new things, but I feel like I've wasted my break relaxing, shopping, catching up on sleep, staying up late, spending time with friends and family, and whatever else I've been doing that isn't related to my job, grad school, or cleaning. It's a constant battle in my head against myself.

Source: tweakiz.com via Amy on Pinterest

Last fear- being alone forever. This one sounds so stupid, but it's one of my biggest insecurities. I don't always consider myself to be pretty. I'm a larger girl and dieting and losing weight is easier said than done. I ask myself a lot why a guy would want me when he could have a prettier, thinner girl. I'm insecure in a lot of areas. I've only dated a handful of guys and most of the relationships were not good ones. I deserved better than them and better than how they treated me in the end. So my fear at 29 as I look at my friends who are married, married with kids, or in long term relationships, is that I'm never going to find that because there's something wrong with me. Do I really believe there's something wrong with me? It depends on the day.

Source: Uploaded by user via Amy on Pinterest

Part of me wants to delete this post right now because this is deep and heavy stuff. And #3 is to describe your relationship with your parents. Things might be a little deep for a while. Hope you will stick around for the ride, after all there's probably someone else out there that feels these same things and needs to know they aren't alone too.

30 Things: Round 2

So I tried to do the whole 30 days of blogging challenge before, but I found some of the topics uninteresting or I just didn't feel like doing it...

Well, I came across this list on Paige's blog Boots, Bows, & the 5-Oh. It looks more interesting and doable for me... so let's give it a shot. I will be skipping #1 cuz I did the 20 facts before!

The List:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you the most happy right now?
6. Why is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves that you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you wish you were the most great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

The list originated over at Hopes and Dreams in May... click the button to link up:

Direct Link to her 30 Things Post: http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com/2012/01/30-things.html

Coast to Coast: Find Some Bloggy Buddies

Lol... I don't have streaks in my hair.

Join up at Whispering Sweet Nothings to find other bloggers in your area!

She has a map and entry form so all of us can enter where we are and find other local blogging buddies! LOVE IT!

WIWW- Just Wednesday :)

Dress (looks better in person): Old Navy

Flip Flops (took a close up, but hate feet so didn't post!): Walmart (they have stars and stripes)

Hair Clip: Me... thinking about putting a batch in the shop soon

Hair: Another replay of the Twist N Pin by Summer@Made by Munchie's Mama, she has a tutorial if you are challenged like me!

Anyway, I'm linking up to:

Mani Monday on Wednesday

Hey! I'm linking up to Heather (Just Lovely Things) and Heather (Glitter and Gloss) for a late Mani Monday post!

I have been obsessed for a while with trying to find a pale pink polish that doesn't take a million coats. I picked up this bottle from Sephora for $9.50. It's called "I Have a Blush on You". Online it describes it as a opaque ballerina pink... I didn't know what opaque meant (Ha! Yes I am a teacher!). So after I figured out that opaque meant not see through I was good to go!

I went to the Sephora inside JCPenney's and they were running a promo where you got a free Sephora tote and deluxe sample bag if you signed up for a JCP credit card. (I paid it off as soon as I made my purchase!)

Look at all these goodies!

1. Perricone MD Face Finishing Moisturizer
2. Lancome Moisturizer
3. Shea Butter Moisturizer
4. Meaningful Beauty Eye Cream
5. Algenist Firming Face Cream
6. Dr. Brandt Pores No More- T Zone Pore Tightening Cream
7. Peter Thomas Roth- Instant Firm Face Cream
8. Peter Thomas Roth- Anti-Aging Cleansing Gel
9. Bare Minerals- Naturally Luminous Duo (cleanser and moisturizer)
10. Sephora Instant Moisturizer
11. Sarah McNamara- Miracle Skin Transformer
12. First Aid Beauty- Ultra Repair Cream
13. Philosophy- Purity Cleansing Gel
14. Philosophy- Eyes Wide Open Eye Gel
15. Bare Minerals Make Up Starter Sample
16. Murad- Active Radiance Serum

I haven't tried any of them yet, but you better believe I was stoked when I saw all my goodies! It was like a free triple Birchbox from Sephora!

Currently... :)

Currently...

loving // being able to sleep in and stay up late on Summer Break! Summer's tutorial on Twist n' Pin Bangs @ Made By Munchie's Mama. My mama hates when I don't have bangs because HUGE foreheads run in the family so she is scared of ALL foreheads... I loved having my bangs out of my face though!

reading // nothing but facebook and blog posts and grad school statistics textbook/powerpoints... seriously. I haven't found a book that I've fallen in love with that is for fun.

watching // I discovered past episodes of Roseanne's Nuts and couldn't stop laughing! Not many good movies out right now that I want to see in theaters or on DVD... My current TV obsessions are Love in the Wild and Breaking Pointe- both reality tv shows lol.

anticipating // trying to get my classroom back together for the start of school on July 26th, hopefully a few more adventures with friends before then, major house cleaning

laughing about // Roseanne's Nuts

listening to // Pandora, Jana Kramer's new cd, Gavin DeGraw: Sweeter cd

eating // microwaveable maple pancakes more often than not and too much fast food

working on // cleaning this house and surviving this graduate course

wishing // to be done with the house cleaning and grad course, that this hot weather would end, that we could get some rain, and that things would look up for my brother

inspired by // Maria Isabel @ Agape Love's Currently post :) and inspired by all of those well organized and clean house bloggers I keep seeing on Pinterest

Whats up with you currently?

Slacker Slacker... Ketchup and Mustdo

Hey!!! So like two weeks ago I went to Shipshewana, Indiana with my friend Sarah, her sister and her mom. I failed to take pictures of everything... It's a large Amish town and has a huge flea market (not Amish run as much as we expected) twice a week through the summer. It was HOT. When I get hot and sweaty I think of NOTHING but the hot and sweatiness. So... I took pictures of cows we passed in a truck outside of the auction house...

Yup... C-O-W-S...

I spent $100. I got:

1. three tshirts
2. a mug
3. rock candy
4. two glitter paints
5. an Amish bonnet... pics to come soon
6. a Nascar jacket for my dog (seriously)
7. hair bow for Macey
8. three Pomeranian magnet things
9. a little red leather purse
10. a purse for my assitant
11. pink clip in hair extensions
12. a pretzel and multiple drinks
13. a tshirt for my mama since she watched the pups
14. a yard of white and pale pink striped jersey knit
15. solar dancing bunny (it's head nods... it's cute)

I think that's it... We also ate at an "Amish" style restaurant. I had chicken noodles with mashed potatoes and the most amazing peanut butter spread on a mini loaf of bread! I'd love to go back some time, but it's a 3 1/2 hour drive... ARGH!

So on to the Mustdo (like Mustard- haha!) part of my post....

I LOVE bottled root beer... and I CANNOT throw away the bottles when I'm done. It seems wasteful... and recycling seems like I'm giving away something that holds immense promise of craftiness. My friend said it's called hoarding... ha! isn't he funny? Anyway... I'm really loving these yarn bottle ideas...

Source: weddingchicks.com via Renae on Pinterest

Source: mysweetandsaucy.com via Abby on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Anna on Pinterest

Source: weddingwindow.com via RaShawn on Pinterest

What color or colors or even patterns would you do on a bottle? I seriously have like 20 in my cabinet...