Saturday, February 18, 2012

Day 3 of 30: View on Drugs and Alcohol

I am sick and miserable at the moment. My body feels like it's burning up but I barely break 97 degrees! GRRR! At least I know it isn't the measles that have broken out in Indiana schools- I was vaccinated as a baby thankfully!

Now... my views on drugs and alcohol.

I have never tried any drugs or even tasted alcohol. In fact, I didn't even have a virgin drink until this past November when we went on a teacher's conference in Chicago (ha!).

I grew up with a so called father who is an alcoholic and a pothead. I remember the smell of both and the way it felt to have someone under the influence of those things in my daily life. I remember getting yelled at and punished for things like not wanting to eat what we were having for dinner or for talking on the phone for too long. I remember crying until I started hyperventilating and dreaming of escaping the life I was living.

Source: via Susana on Pinterest

My parents divorced when I was 15. The only time I have spoken to my "father" since is when my mother had her heart attack and he called her at the hospital.

Some people tell me that he's my father and I need to have him in my life. Others tell me I'll regret cutting him out later when he's gone.

I disagree.

I believe it takes more than blood to make a family or a parent. I believe that when someone is hurting your soul you need to make the choice to change your life. I struggle daily with anxiety and OCD. I struggle with wanting to be perfect because I feel like anything less isn't good enough. I lived a life where there was no recognition of a job well done or hugs or being told that I was loved or that my parents were proud of me. I love my mom dearly. She is the reason I had a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food in my stomach my whole life.

My views on drugs and alcohol are that they are not worth the risk of repeating the mistakes of my past. I know others can drink socially and be fine, but I don't really care for being around people who get drunk or going out to bars.

So... that's where I stand. Hopefully I haven't driven any of you away with these posts of honesty and realism. Maybe you want to tag along? Leave me your blog address if you decide to participate!

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